Swim the Fly by Don Calame

swimtheflyEvery summer since third grade, Matt, Sean and Coop do two things 1) compete on the  community swim team. They are the proud holders of more 5th place medals than anyone else in the league. And  (2) come up with a goal that the three of them will achieve by the end of the summer. Usually this means something like playing so many games of ping pong or something like that. But this summer is the big one. They decide that for the first time, they are going to see a real…live…naked…girl…

Their crazy schemes get crazier and more dangerous. Sneak into a nude beach, dress as girls and go into the girls locker room, go to a party and hide in a closet in a room where a hot girl is about to have sex. None of their attempts end well.  Powerful laxatives doing their work and getting knocked out by some huge musclebound jerk are just a few examples.

But seeing a naked girl isn’t Matt’s only goal that summer. Though he can barely tread water, Matt volunteers to swim the butterfly race at the league championships. The butterfly, the hardest stroke known to man or God. Why would he do such a thing? For a girl, of course. He wants to impress the smokin’ hot new girl on the swim team, Kelly.

By the way, the boys do get to see a naked woman, a woman they would never choose to see naked in a million years. And poor guys, that image will be burned in their brain forever.

H620L

 

Stupid Fast by Geoff Herbach

stupidfastFelton Reinstein has never had what you might call a normal life. He has always been a scrawny, goofy, socially awkward kid. His younger brother is a nerdy piano prodigy with no friends and his crazy hippie mom is a school crossing guard. His dad commited suicide when Felton was 8 years old and Felton was the one who discovered the body in the garage. To make all of this even worse, he lives in a small rural Wisconsin town where everyone knows everyone else’s name and business. He is kind of a weird kid, so when someone nicknames him “squirrel nut,” it sticks.

But then one summer right in the middle of high school, everything changed for him. Felton went through a huge growth spurt, grew hair in all kinds of places (don’t ask) and he got stupid fast, fast like a donkey. The football team recruits him, he gets more friends than he has have ever had (that is more than one or two) and he gets a beautiful girl to fall in love with him. And the only time people call him “squirrel nut” now is to cheer him on.

But it also the summer that his mom goes off of the deep end, his brother gets even weirder and his relationship with his best friend Gus starts going down the drain. Football, girlfriend, screwed up family and friendships. Why can’t this stuff ever be easy?

 670L

 

Spanking Shakespeare by Jake Wizner

spankingshakespeareShakespeare Shapiro’s life has been one humiliating event after another. How could it not be when your parents name you Shakespeare?

There was the time he was hit in the face by a baseball at a Yankees-Red Sox game. Or the time he got caught with a porno magazine in Math class.

But this year, his senior year, is going to be different. Every senior at his school has to write a memoir. Shakespeare is a great writer (yeah, I know) and he is going to write the top prize winning memoir of the year. It would be a big deal. His school is known for its writing program and some of the memoirs have been published by major publishers.

And then fame and fortune will be his. And he will finally have sex with a girl. Or at least get his first girlfriend. Or at least a prom date…

850L

Son of the Mob by Gordon Korman

22237[1]Vince Luca is like any nice guy you might meet here at our school. He is a good student, good looking, able to get a date every once in a while, but nothing that turns into a relationship. Tonight, he is about to fulfill one of his dreams—making out with a beautiful girl on Bryce Beach. She wants a blanket so they can lay down on the beach. He gets out of the car, opens the trunk. And right before he reaches for the blanket, he freezes. The blanket is there alright, but it is wrapped around a dead body. Sounds like the beginning of a mystery novel, doesn’t it? This isn’t a  mystery though. You see, everyone knows that Vince’s dad, Honest Abe Luca, is a powerful mob boss. Vince doesn’t want any part of the family business, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.

Needless to say, he doesn’t get to make out on Bryce Beach.

But later on, he does meet a girl named Kendra. A real girlfriend with potential. But of course, there is a problem. Kendra’s dad is an FBI agent. And not just any agent. This agent’s job is take down the Luca crime family. How can a guy be so unlucky?

690L

Carter Finally Gets It by Brent Crawford

3599928[1]Carter is a high school guy. Most of the time he thinks about one thing. Can you guess what that is?

[Sex, girls] Getting girls and looking cool. This is his life. He tries out for football, for example. After all, he can check out all of the cheerleaders during football practice. Kicker is probably the safest position. And it is, if you don’t count getting crushed by the other ginormous football players or murdered by the drill team for telling his fellow football players that he got to second base with one of their team members. (He didn’t—not even close).

Almost everything goes wrong  for Carter. Football, girls, parties or school. He can’t even get a cool nickname. He is stuck with Slappy.

Even when he gets Amber, the girl he likes, to go to the movies with him, this happens:

Read page 73, paragraph 2 – page 76, end of 1st paragraph

And on top of all that, his ADD won’t let him focus on anything for more than a minute or so. Except of course when he is thinking about girls.

HL760L